psalm 131

Often
On a Saturday evening
I will make my way over here to church.

I unlock the front door
Switch off the alarm
And walk through to the sanctuary.
I’m on my own
But I’m not alone.

I’ve come over to pray:
That the Spirit of God
Will pass among us while we worship
Walking pew by pew
I ask God to bless you
To do all he wants to do
In and for you
I ask that we might see God’s glory shine
Like sunlight dancing on the water.

I ask that come the morning
He will forgive my inadequacy
And make me able
To so bear his presence
That I am hidden and only he is seen.

I don’t do this because I‘m particularly holy
I do it because I’m particularly sinful
And know
That if anything real is going to happen
While I lead worship
Then it will have to come from the miracle of God
Acting in our midst.

I walk along the centre aisle
Climbing up the steps to the balcony
Where I sit
And for a few moments at least
I do nothing
But watch and listen:

Because although I’m on my own - I am not alone.

Sometimes the sunlight
Pours through the stained glass onto the walls
The colours jostling
As though a fire had been lit on the stone.

Always I stare at the figure of Christ
Patterned on the glass
Showing the wounds inflicted by a cross.
And I wonder
Where have I added to those wounds?
In the days before
By some wrong done
Or some good left unfulfilled.

But mostly
I listen to the silence.
Because silence has its own sound.

When we listen to the silence
I think we must come closest
To hearing what heaven is like.

Sitting on the balcony I am on my own
But I’m not alone
For In the silence I hear
The hush of holiness
The unheard echo of hymns sang
Of prayers said
Of worship offered
The silence is full and brimming over
With the sound of sanctity
As the music of holiness is released.

Its not that silence itself is holy
It’s more what the silence does for us:
It makes us pause
Invites us to notice more
It slows us down and Raises our awareness
Of the deep longing buried within us
That can only be satisfied
With the company of God.

The music of silence
Invites us to be still
And know the company of God.

I sit in the silence of St Nininas
On a Saturday evening
Until I am aware
Of my hunger for God
Until like a weaned child
That hunger is satisfied
By the presence of God.

In those moments
I’m not asking questions
Or thinking impressive thoughts
I am, simply looking at God
And God is looking at me.
In that moment I recognise
I am a created creature
In the presence of my creator
I receive the banquet of his love
And offer my crumbs in return

And as I do this
My soul
That deepest part of me
That yearns and fears and strives
Settles down
Until I feel
Refreshed
Renewed
At peace

Simply by allowing the silence
To make me still enough
To know I am in God’s beautiful presence.

Maybe the hymn writer puts it best:
When he writes the words
We have already sung:

Drop thy still dews of quietness,
Till all our strivings cease
Take from our souls the strain and stress
And let our ordered lives confess
The beauty of thy peace.

In the hush
Where we become still
The presence of God
Bursts in on our senses
And we experience his beauty
As peace.
in the stillness we know God
and taste and see he is good.

Don’t let the fact that I do this in an empty church
Mislead you,
This experience of quiet and stillness
Only needs the corner of a room
A familiar chair
A walk outside

From the place of quiet
From the place of peace
From the still encounter with the living God
The psalmist urges:

O Israel
Hope in the Lord
From this time
And forever more.

When we have met with God
In the stillness that comes with quiet
We are enabled
To return to the world we have come from
With the power to imagine
The good God wishes for us
As being more real
Than the circumstances we are in.

Isn’t that what hope is for a Christian
The ability to imagine
and live with confidence
That God’s good intentions for our lives
Will win
over the present struggles, and troubles.

When I leave the sanctuary
I know God is real
I know the little life I have
In its shortness and fragility
Is kept and provided for
By a good God
And I am empowered
To live by the goodness I can see.

Hope in the Lord...
That the wrongs weve done
Cannot cancel out God’s love for us

Hope in the Lord...
That the death Christ died
Wipes out the sin that separates us from God

Hope in the Lord...
That the resurrection of Jesus
Means his living presence
Is here with us even now

Hope in the Lord...
That illness and death
Won’t have the final say over who we are

Hope in the Lord...
That what eye has not seen
Nor ear heard
Nor mind conceived
God has prepared for those who love him.

People of st Nininas...
Hope in the Lord
Who is here to meet you
Not least
Through the sacrament
awaiting us on the table.

We feed our hope
On the real presence of Christ
Coming to us
In bread and in wine.

Jesus said
I am the bread of life
whoever comes to me will never be hungry.